Mohenjodaro Review : Hrithik comes out clean against Phustom

The last time Hrithik Roshan and Ashutosh Gowariker got together to make Jodhaa Akbar, they created a "history" of sorts. It was probably the movie that got hrithik the most appreciation as an actor and gowariker a big grosser he never had (lagaan was a small hit). That was most definitely the reason they made Mohenjodaro now. But a lot has changed since 2008. When JA came in 2008 , historicals/period dramas were considered the "untouchable" genre. The best of stars shivered to sign a movie anything close to a period movie given how badly Mangal Pandey and Asoka had bombed with the khans. JA came and changed the game. And a lot of credit goes to others not attempting it .JA didnt have a standard to fall back on to comment. The last big period movie that worked was way back in the 60s in MEA which is a totally lousy film by todays standard. So JA easily survived the MEA comparison and came out clean. But a lot has happened post JA. There was Magadheera that came from rajamouli in 2009 which got a lot of attention. And then came the ultimate game changing juggernaut Baahubali which raised the standards of this genre in almost every aspect. Then there was Bajirao Mastani which had a good vision and execution. Ashutosh Gowariker isnt the flamboyant and the "wham bam thank you mam" kind of director like rajamouli. He is not a maverick like SLB . But he has a very sincere Amar Chitra katha style of story telling. His films are not supposed to grab your attention from the word Go but to warm the audiences to his style slowly and gradually.

With Mohenjodaro, ashutosh is back with his trademark way. But he is not a fool. He is an intelligent director who values the intelligence of the audience. There were some morons saying how hindi is being used in the times of MJD when it was not even invented? The answer lies in the first 15 mins of the movie. Lets not insult the intelligence of the director and the audience with such rubbish arguments. The movie begins like a person who is hesitant to read a Amar Chitra book but slowly starts warming up to the simplicity of its story telling. Ashutosh has a knack for human drama with a touch of social issues and he has his own way of integrating it with all his films. The editing and screenplay is surprisingly better than his last films though there is still work left to be done. The pace is drift but is strickened by cliche scenes especially in the pre-climax portions but the climax redeems it. There is vision and creativity both at work. Wish this was touched upon more than focussing on some useless fight sequences of arunoday singh and hrithik.

There was some negativity around hrithik post bang bang and his personal issues but his sincere performance in this withers that away. Pooja hegde looks hot but she is not a competent actor. kabir bedi and arunoday singh have good voices but their roles are stretched more than it deserved. The background music is good but not at the level of a baahubali. There is one arena fight of hrithik which is well choreographed and has good BGM.

Rating : 2.5-3/5

It is a movie made with some intent and vision. MJD was in the making for 2 years and was the first to announce its release date on 12 aug. Rustom , one of akshays four films an year, made in some 40 days on 50 crores released its date afterwards. Morally rustom should have backed out when it was not the first to release its date. but then clashes are inevitable. But the demeanor of the rustom camp ever since has been pedestrian from akshay kumar begging celebs to promote his film to one of his producers Girgit Johar mudslinging MJD to make its low day 1 look "big". Guess rustom camp (over confident after the promo reaction) realised the movie is a sitting duck once the reviews were out and the only way possible to paint a rosy picture was to compare it to MJD. Absolute third class tactics from akshay kumar and he has lost a major supporter with such cheap tactics.

More power to Hrithik for maintaining the grace and giving us a much better movie than what the paid rustom camp wants to make us believe. Only shoutout to you - work more and dont let some assi stars take undue advantage of it.

Bulandi (2000) : When panchayat becomes a penchant

Bulandi is one of my biggest guilty pleasure film  to date along with Clerk and Gaon humaara shaher tumhara. I have seen it multiple times, visited it recently  and each time it is just as enjoyable because there is so much to decipher in every scene. The film celebrates male chauvinism at danke ki chot and takes extreme pride in it in a very earnest way. It is about a thakur family which has a history of making disastrous decisions.

 Each time a thakur makes an entry on his ghoda -gaadi, there is an epic BMG which resembles the Bane chant from The dark knight rises. You have no option but to get mesmerised each time anil/rajni as thakur walks in slow motion . Rajnikant but naturally has more flair here. He doesnt light stick by rubbing it on match box but instead rubs the match box on the stick to light his cigar. Since that day i always lighted the match stick in my chemistry lab in same fashion. such is the impact of that scene. If during an argument in panchayat, someone doesnt agree with Rajni and tries to fight back, rajni just moves his gamcha and no one dares speak a word after it. The movement of gamcha on his shoulder signifies apocalypse. It is another matter that once the gamcha movement is over, then rajni is vulnerable and can be shot dead by a tamancha by ranjit.But during the godly moment of gamcha, he is invincible.

Dialogues are rejuvenating and always leave goosebumps in me.a sample scene is when  raveena plays a proud educated city girl and misbehaves with older  anil and anil explains her the dharm of an indian wife - "patni ka dharm hai ki pati ki daasi ban ke seva, kare,maa ke tarah use khilay pilyae". raveena calls rekha an uneducated women and rekha defends herself saying she is a graduate from alllahabad university (may be referring to amitabh here). It doesnt impress raveena all that much. Eventually Raveena starts respecting thakur family only when she gets a reality check of their bank accounts.Fair enough i suppose.

Shakti kapoor plays the villian and mostly he is semi nude in the film. he wears dhoti in the manner of speedos which looks pretty gross. He is banished from the village as he had raped a SC/ST woman 18 years ago. So in oldboy style, he counts each year by making a mark on his body with hot iron rod.

Like in all south films and in general with such unpretentious and enjoyable cheesy masala films, the senior actors become superheros as they get older. so harish (that small gay south hero of the 90s who debuted with karishma in prem qaidi) who is 20 years younger to shakti is no match for him but anil who is in late 50s has the aglity and strength that can put Micheal Jai white to shame.In the climax scene, during a fight , anil shows he is not just about the brawns. He turns a bullock cart into a maternity ward room .

In the tradition of thakur dynasty,they die only when they want to and same is the case with anil. But raveena has just given birth to a new legacy in the bullock cart turned maternity ward. Younger anil takes over as the next thakur with the bane chants and the legacy continues....


Full movie here:

Commando Review 2013

Back in the 90s, in his films like KKK and Mohra, Akshay showed that Indian heroes can do the spinning back kicks and use the Nunchaku with as much ease as the Van Dammes . Vidyut takes that legacy forward and proves what Tony Jaa and Scott Adkins can do, he can do as well.

The introduction of Vidyut is nothing less than a celebration of his histrionics. This commando can do handstand pushups, one leg squats, spartan push ups with as much ease as walking in the garden. His intro fight is easily the best choreographed action sequence in Bollywood for a long time and matches the global standards of martial arts action. The ease with which he carries out his back flips, corkscrew kick, jumping through a car window and over it, vidyut makes all so-called action heroes Salman and Ajay look like school-going kids. People run on road, Vidyut runs on people!

But not everything is good about Commando. Pooja Chopra's role is quite irritating at points and she tries her best to ruin the film and is successful to some extent. But the Villain Jaideep Ahlawat makes up for her OTT acting. He is a supercool villain though personally i would have preferred a more evenly matched opponent for someone like Vidyut. The dialgues between them are good to okayish. As I always say, a good action film is one which keeps everything else simple but the action. Commando tries to take itself too seriously in the second half with some attempt at social messages which doesn't help the cause. There is an item song too and some typical filmy scenes added purely to make it look like a South Masala and that doesn't help. There are enough fight scenes for a normal movie goer but for an action lover, I believe there were less fight sequences. At least two more sequences could have been added in the second half instead of the nonsense of Pooja Chopra and the boring atrocities to her family.

I remember Aamir claiming Ghajini to push the envelope of action in Bollywood. It regressed us by 20 years and we had to face the wrath of a rather unhealthy trend of nonsensical South Masala remakes like SOS and Himmatwala. Commando is not entirely satisfying but its is a film that genuinely pushes the envelope of action in Hindi cinema. For this alone, the film deserves to be a success. My wish now is to see both Vidyut and Akshay in the same frame.

Journey Of a Sachin Fanatic

World Cup 1996:

This journey started somewhere in the 1996 WC when my dad introduced me to this 5 feet odd batsman and said “look how be bats”. I began liking him but it was an acquired taste.

Sharjah 1998:

The real fanatism came in 1998 during the sharjah series.His innings of 143 in that sand storm is etched in my memory like most sachin fans.There was a time when I was only bothered about his 100.I didnt care if India wins or not.All I wanted was a tendulkar 100!

From 1998 to 2006, I was a sachin fanatic to the point of being a sadist for his competition/haters.I was an alter ego of my present self.There was a time when my only worry in life was sachins form :D

I could keep watching sachin videos whole day without getting bored.

I am one of those who switched off tv when sachin got out.Done that umpteen times and i am proud of it.

I had many books with photos of sachin (and other cricketers too, but sachin almost 60%) pasted. Used to cut his photos from newspapers, magazines and pasted it in books.

2004 Slump:

I used to think  the whole world hates sachin during 2004 aus series.All critics bashed him for bad form.Some even wanted him to retire.and then when he got 200 in sydney, i remember I saw the full match highlights for 5-6 times.I used to hate dravid when he got credit for 2003-04 pak win.

2007 WC defeat and rise of Dhoni:

I think it was the 2007 WC ouster when for the first time I was extremely disappointed.(Besides the WC 2003 final of course)That was the same year India won the T20 WC under Dhoni and then obviously Dhoni went on to captain India to the WC 2011 win.

His retirement was on the cards though a bit late. But I am surprised why he retired ODIs before tests. Contrary to other batsmen, sachin has always been stronger in ODIs. The best time to retire was wc 2011 victory but I dont know why he continued further. He could have made 100 100 by playing only tests too.

And finally, let me say this is a huge loss for India especially in ODIs.The excitement to see indian batting open will never be the same.Sachin used to motivate me,he still motivates me.I am lucky to be born in his era.

Talaash is the alter ego of OMG

Story:

The story is about 4 characters. Kareena plays a prostitute who has a dalla named Shashi.He has a langda assistant(nawaz) .A film actor named armaan and his two friends , kejriwal and Nikhil.Aamir plays an inspector and rani is his wife.

The film starts with the car accident of armaan . Aamir takes up this case. There is a side story to aamir which I will mention first.Aamir has lost his son due to an accident leading to both aamir-rani having a depressed life. His son drowns himself while boating.Aamir blames his irresponsiblity for his death.His wife rani doesnt speak much until she meeets shernaz patel who practises blackmagic and claims that she can talk to his son's aatma.She even gives her a practical demonstration which convinces rani that ghosts/aamta do exist. But aamir doesnt agree.He is an upright well educated policeman and he has seen OMG.This son-track doesn’t seem relevant to the talaash case but later its link is given.

Now the main case is this. Kareena was sent by his dalla Shashi as the gangbang bitch for the pleasure of armaan, kejriwal and Nikhil.When she is making love to Nikhil in car, accidentally the door of the car opens and they both fall down. Nikhil is rushed to hospital by the two guys but kareena is left stranded,wounded due to fear of police case.Kareena dies and becomes a ghost to revenge her death.

She can be seen only by aamir but he doesn’t know this.She assists him in finding each of the people associated to her death and they get killed one by one,sometimes by her act and sometimes situational. The dalla gets killed first bcos he was blackmailing kejirwal for extortion money. Nawaz gets killed later for the same thing by kejriwals henchmen but this incident leads aamir to one of the henchmen as witness. He tells him about kejriwal.Kejriwal tells aamir that kareena was the one who was killed. Aamir is shocked.When they both are travelling in his jeep, kareena appears from nowhere and aamir loses his control. The jeep dives into the sea nearby.Kejriwal is dead but the ghostly kareena saves aamir.Aamir realizes the power of ghosts and starts believing in them. He now has sympathy with his wife rani who was a firm believer in this. That completes the relevance of the son-track.

Acting:

Aamir is in SMJ mode. He has acted quite well in two scenes particularly the scene where he recollects about the death of his son in his car and the one where he imagines the options that he could have used to save his son. Kareena has acted well and she overshadowed aamir in two scenes. One is the lift scene and the other is the scene at the seashore.Rani has very little role and has acted well.

Learnings :

In OMG,akshay taught us that we should not believe in superstitions.In talaash,aamir teaches us to start believing in ghosts.

Zizek's note on Student of the Year

Never before has a filmmaker depicted the Oedipus complex in such a captivating and thought-provoking manner as in Karan Johar's SOTY.The moment comes in the introduction of the leads in the film who are believed to be the epitome of its sexual demographic.They are simply in awe of it.This moment (video 1) in itself is a strong reference to Sigmund Freud's "Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality" .The scene denotes the emotions and ideas that the mind keeps in the unconscious, via dynamic repression, that concentrate upon a person's homosexual attraction and desire to sexually possess them. In yet another moment (video 2) Johar makes Carl Gustav Jung proud.The moment where he reinforces Carl's Electra Complex proposition through the libidinal shift of the girl's colleagues towards the guy.In classical, Freudian psychoanalytic theory, the earlier identification with the same-sex person is the successful resolution of the Oedipus complex and of the Electra complex; and the key psychological experience to developing a mature role and identity which interestingly is the climax of the film.The clash between the two males in the film is the most blatant instance of symbolic castration anxiety. Johar captures that irrational fear of being degraded where the person will go to extreme lengths to save their pride and perceive trivial things as being degrading making their anxiety restrictive and sometimes damaging. Video 1 Video 2:

Gangs of Bhos**pur

Before giving a review of the film,I need to make an appeal to  Anurag Kashyap :

Dear Anurag,When will you shed your small townish sex obessesed mentality and ruin your films?What is this infatuation with the ‘Bhosdaa’ of the woman and the “gand” of the man? It is necessary to give your sexual perversions so much prominence to your film and characters? Is it not possible for you to write a script which is compelling on its own?And this is not the problem with you alone.Its the same case with your fellow small townies  Imtiaz Ali (Rockstar) and Habib Faisal (Ishaqzaade).

Now on the film,GOW was basically meant to be a revenge film.There is a conflict shown between the Quereshi (Butcher) gang and the Pathan (upper class muslim) gang.Then there is a Hindu MLA also in the proceedings which looked  like the main villain of the film.The first 20 mins or so are very engaging .The historical references were blended with the story quite well.The character of Bajpai’s father is written pretty good who is a pathan.I liked all his scenes.After his death,the film loses its way.Manoj bajpai’s character speaks  how the revenge of his dead father is the sole aim of  his life but never quite shows the urgency towards it.Instead he is chilling out in the film,he  seems more interested in having sex with his wife and almost every other woman.The film forgets the conflicts with the Quereshis and the hindu MLA and focuses on the affair of manoj and his Bengali whore.Now few such scenes are alright but there is a limit to irrelevance.I mean who is interested in watching manoj bajpai in speedos!At times anurag is reminded of the core story ,so after all the perverted timepass scenes ,he would add few scenes relevant to the plot.If you thought GOW is about gangster revenge drama and politics,you are more wrong than right.To compensate for the lack of drama,anurag has filled the movie with unnecessary profane language. But even there he doesn’t quite succeed bcos it seemed as if everyone in wasseypur only knows one abuse ‘bhosdi ke’ .May be I need to give them some tutorials on abuses.But I will charge the ticket money.Then there are chronological errors too in the film.Trishul is being watched in theatre in 1985.

In the climax,anurag is again reminded of the basic story so manoj talks about the revenge thing again but its too late by now as 2.5 hrs have passed.In the end it says “abhi baaki hai”.I  replied “Tu shuru ki kab hua?seedhe part 2 hi banata”
Rating – 2/5 (story had potential,manoj is good)

My review: Hornystar XXX

Ask a western whats the commonest frustration an average Indian has and immediate reply would be "sex-deprivation".If you are on facebook,you must have noticed that its Indians who lead the number of fake profiles for dirty chatting online.Director Imtiaz Ali got it bang on here as the premise of Ranbir's Hornystar journey is the same - "sexual frustration".Even Ranbirs mentor in the film argued that music comes from pain and dissastisfaction. ;)So Ranbir had to look for a girl who would match his Horny-meter to pull the wild sex-hungry beast hidden inside him that would help him become a rockstar he always wanted to be.

Imtiaz is known for writing eccentric characters for his heriones in previous films which just about borders sluttiness but in anycase those were straight girls.But in Hornystar,he went a notch higher.Nargis fakri comes across as a bisexual :)
Agreed that she likes watching men pee and makes ranbir watch males stripping,but then she loves feeling and caressing nude women and Pros in topless bars and dressing like a man to watch B grade semiporn flicks in theatres.
She also suffers from a weird medical problem where her blood count is proportional to her sex count!The more she is deprived of sex,the worse her medical condition gets ranging from being unable to walk to as extreme as Coma lol!Imtiaz also shows how a single attempt at kiss can make her walk!
You must be thinking why am I talking about sex and not about Ranbirs journey as a Rockstar.Lets be clear,there is no journey here.Its more a failed sex story between two people who have unmatchable sex count :)

The only moments were you feel the movie stuck to its supposed theme are the ones that Ranbir provides with his buffoneries in first half and even for most of the second half as the sexually deprived rockstar.Songs have been trimmed poorly though Saada Haq and Nadaan Parindey is shot well.

There is a lot of sexual tension betweem Ranbir and Nargis throughout the film but still one never quite feels the chemistry so to speak.More so,because Nargis is a pathetic actress.Although she has wild fantasies.The chemistry feels more like a protected sex where the pleasure is missing :D

Which brings me to the climax.In a nutshell,the climax reminds me of Kites minus the ocean with an imaginary Nargis walking upto Ranbir on stage under proper spotlight and all lol :D
I could not figure out that the movie had ended only until the Cinemax staff opened the Fire exit for us to leave so you can imagine :)

Review of Manoj Kumar's 1989 masterpiece - Clerk

Genre: Clueless or maybe Comedy

Rating: Not to be missed. Must be seen at least once.

Director: Manoj Kumar

Writer: Manoj Kumar

Cast : Manoj Kumar – Bharat

Ashok Kumar- Pitaji

Rajendra Kumar- Khan

Rekha- Sneh (Old Flame)

Anita Raj- Pooja – Gymnastics babe

Mohammad Ali- Ram

Zeba- Mrs. Hooky/ blood seller

Rajiv Goswami- Balaram

Sonu Walia- Ms. Torn Jeans aka Sonu

Prem Chopra- Sadhuram

Satish Shah- Sharma – Bharat’s immediate boss

Sonika Gill- Tulsi

Om Shivpuri- Jindal

Dina Pathak- Bharat’s Mommy


To boldly go where no man has gone before(Alternate review)

Clerk is the mother of all the WTF movies of bollywood ever.I have seen it 3 times myself lol.(yes you will need to fast forward some songs and scenes here and there).

Some of my personal favourite moments in the movie are:

1)Bharat defines "lunch"

Bharat is questioned about his sincerity to which he replies "Sahab,lunch ka intezaar to woh karte hain jinke paas khaane ke liye lunch ho".wow.dil jeet liya sahab!










2)Bharat's convo with his boss and his Hindi tutorials:

Bharat is asked to repeat each comment of his in hindi by his boss.But somehow bharat just says "ji?" in translation and his boss seems to get convinced lol.







3)Boss giving Bharat his "roz ka taana"

"Tum ek mamooli Clerk ho Clerk!"










4)Bharats Hand-to-mouth life:

What better way to present his economic condition than to fix in the camera view into the holes of the Ghar ki Charpai.Cinematic excellence.







5)The "death-bed" scene:

Need not be talked about!











6)Bharats phateli chappal:

Bharat in an interaction with his ex-flame Rekha.Shows rekha his phatheli chappal to prove he has forgotten his glorious past.









7)Balram having fun meanwhile:

Bharats younger bro Balram is a man afterall.So at times he ought to be horny inspite of his adverse economic cicumstances.He visits the sexy siren of late 80s and 90s Sonu Walia,his Gf.






8)Bharats trademark pose:

Bharats current GF,Anita Raj,is wearing tight Gymnastics clothes.So the well-cultured Bharat,feels embarassed and interacts with her facing backwards.They dont make such men anymore.






9)Bharat controls his lust:

Anita tries her best to seduce Bharat.But our Bharat controls his lust giving a series of amazing facial expressions.