Ramleela review: Trigger Dabane Ki Baat Mar Kar, Trigger Daba Daal

The film starts on Bhansali sets where there are lot of guns. A riot occurs between two groups of people in bhansali sets. Meanwhile Ranveer is introduced by Tattad Tattad song on another Bhansali sets. He has the facial look of Bhansali himself but the lower body is shaved like Salman of 90s. May be Bhansali always had a fetish for that kind of appearance. Then Supriya Pathak who is member of one of the groups is introduced on yet another Bhansali sets. She continues her Khichdi act from where she had left. In next scene, it is revealed that Ranvir is a porn film seller. and just after that the Slutty Savitri Deepika is introduced, this is not a co-incidence…..and yes, on yet another Bhansali set. She plays a Gujju but has accent of a vernacular M***i.

Its Holi so a song starts and Deepika has started doing what she did in BKB, LAK, Cockail, KCK, Yjhd, Lafangey Parindey, i.e. hititng on the hero in the first mulaqat. They are about to have sex too with the underlying idea that "Mor Apne Pankh Kholte Hain, Hum Kapde Kholte Hain". But as we know by now, having watched those Deepika films, she never gives the "happy ending". So not much happens except that at least this time she didn't shy from kissing without shitting in her panties unlike BAH and YJHD. Ecstatic and erect, Ranveer falls in a pond of water created in Bhansali's sets.

Then in the next set and scene, they are talking to each other rhyming words with the standards that can compete with the lyrics of Friday by Rebecca Black. Then there's the cheesiest of all dialogues – Deepika "Jigar Pe Mat Ja, Trigger Daba Doongi". Ranveer says "Daba Na". She replies "Chee". Jab Chee Hi Bolna Tha to Trigger Dabane Ki Baat Kari Hi Kyun? Trigger Dabana Hai To Daba Daal Warna Uski Baat Mat Kar. Either be complete slutty or complete Savitri. But then its Deepika Padukone. From here on this is Ishaqzaade Part 2 in Bhansali's sets. Ishqiya Dhishkiyaon song choreography reminds of Govinda-Karishma c-graders. The Police raid scene where police guy exchanges porn DVD with bullets is WTF. Ranveer kills Deepika's brother but lust wins over family bonding and now Deepika is desperate to marry Ranver otherwise "Dono Ek Hi Kamre Mein Kaise Reh Sakte Hain". Then after some more Ishaqzaade in Bhansali sets which can be fast forwarded if you are on torrent there is an Indra the Tiger type OTT sword fight scene of Ranveer. Then some more fast forward reveals that the end scene is also same as Ishaqzaade.

Commando Review 2013

Back in the 90s, in his films like KKK and Mohra, Akshay showed that Indian heroes can do the spinning back kicks and use the Nunchaku with as much ease as the Van Dammes . Vidyut takes that legacy forward and proves what Tony Jaa and Scott Adkins can do, he can do as well.

The introduction of Vidyut is nothing less than a celebration of his histrionics. This commando can do handstand pushups, one leg squats, spartan push ups with as much ease as walking in the garden. His intro fight is easily the best choreographed action sequence in Bollywood for a long time and matches the global standards of martial arts action. The ease with which he carries out his back flips, corkscrew kick, jumping through a car window and over it, vidyut makes all so-called action heroes Salman and Ajay look like school-going kids. People run on road, Vidyut runs on people!

But not everything is good about Commando. Pooja Chopra's role is quite irritating at points and she tries her best to ruin the film and is successful to some extent. But the Villain Jaideep Ahlawat makes up for her OTT acting. He is a supercool villain though personally i would have preferred a more evenly matched opponent for someone like Vidyut. The dialgues between them are good to okayish. As I always say, a good action film is one which keeps everything else simple but the action. Commando tries to take itself too seriously in the second half with some attempt at social messages which doesn't help the cause. There is an item song too and some typical filmy scenes added purely to make it look like a South Masala and that doesn't help. There are enough fight scenes for a normal movie goer but for an action lover, I believe there were less fight sequences. At least two more sequences could have been added in the second half instead of the nonsense of Pooja Chopra and the boring atrocities to her family.

I remember Aamir claiming Ghajini to push the envelope of action in Bollywood. It regressed us by 20 years and we had to face the wrath of a rather unhealthy trend of nonsensical South Masala remakes like SOS and Himmatwala. Commando is not entirely satisfying but its is a film that genuinely pushes the envelope of action in Hindi cinema. For this alone, the film deserves to be a success. My wish now is to see both Vidyut and Akshay in the same frame.